Stupid Is As Stupid Does...#? or Sometimes Improvisation is the Only Way!

I've been working like a dog getting the house ready to put on the market. I'm making lists and tackling things systematically room by room, painting, fixing, packing.

We have this 12 x 12 foot screen porch that jutts of the back of our house. It has a beautiful view and is a nice area to sit and relax at the end of the day. Next on the list was to sweep and spiff up the porch. I swept and had a nice pile of dirt ready to hit the trash, but no dust pan. I walked to the door to go inside and get what I needed. I was so excited to check another task off the list.

I grabbed the handle and turned...nothing happened.  I knew instantly that I was in trouble.  The door was locked and I was on the porch without a key.  Not only without a key, but without a phone, without another human in earshot, without hope of escape.  I was alone, locked on the porch with my neat pile of dirt.

Like an idiot I wigged the doorknob, secretly praying that Schlage made a faulty lock and the door would somehow magically open.  Bruno sat quietly on the other side of the door, looking at me, wondering why I was asking him for help.  Again, hope springs eternal and a quick thought flashed through my mind.  Maybe Bruno could unlock a door.  It was only a fleeting thought.

As I stood on the porch that deja vu feeling welled up in my chest.  This isn't the first time I've been in this situation.  Sad to say, I didn't learn my lesson.

So, it was time to figure out a solution to my dilemma.  It was time to improvise!  I looked at all the screens on the porch and chose one in the corner (it had a post directly underneath and had the most space below so if I took a big fall maybe I wouldn't hit anything else.) I didn't want to, but I knocked out the screen.  As I stood there making more work for myself, I said a few choice words.

With the screen out of the way, I steeled myself, took a few deep breaths and climbed over the railing. I stood on the ledge, gripping the railing, my heart racing.  After a few seconds, I thought better of what I planned to do and I climbed back over onto the porch.  It's a full story above the deck and to add to the drama, I'm afraid of heights.  I calmed myself down and told myself I had to do this.  

So I looked over the side and made a plan.  There was a towel hook screwed into the post below.  I thought if I could lower myself down and get my foot on that hook, well, I didn't quite know what I was going to do then, but at least I had a plan.  So, I climbed over again, grabbed the rails and lowered myself down and my foot found the hook.  Success!  But in a spit second the hook broke, my hands slid down the rails and I was hanging there for what seemed minutes, but I knew was only seconds.

I instinctively wrapped my legs around the post with the gutter with nowhere to go but down.  I slid a bit and then dropped to the ground.  I hit the deck and fell backwards.  The thought that ran through my mind was that I had probably broken something.  I got up, dusted myself off...a little humiliated, a lot bruised, but very happy to be walking back up to the house.

Sometimes, improvisation is the ONLY way.