A wickedly smart friend of mine created a little signal that we could give each other when we were subconsciously or even consciously undermining another woman. It was supposed to be a "heads up," think about what you're saying signal. We've all done it. We talk behind someone's back. We make negative assumptions of how and why another woman achieved notoriety or success. We say or do things to bring other women down. Does it arise from jealousy? Are we trying to equalize power with women we are competing with? Read about "Dead Even Power," it's enlightening. Or, even worse, are we wired to be that way?
I write this as a reminder to myself. I try to remember that lifting others, especially other women lifts me. In 2020 I will visualize that symbol before I speak and not after. I can do better.
5 comments:
What a challenge: to only say positive things about other women. Just writing this makes me sad; it shouldn't be a challenge, it should be second nature to us all. As you wrote, "I can do better." I can too.
Brava, Jacquie. Well said.
Can you share the signal, so that it may become an international signal for all women. Thank you Kerryn Western Australia
I tried to bring this up as a discussion topic at my company last week, in the spirit of the company’s heavily marketed commitment to diversity and inclusion, transparency, the value of being vulnerable and engendering trust - and yes - posting daily profiles to celebrate women. Crickets. I immediately felt at risk for even bringing up (in the context of why a woman can’t be elected in this country), that I’d crossed a line in the rah-rah version. Thank you jacquie for posing this topic. We - women - are at time our own worst enemy and we need to talk about it. There are many credible studies about the “Queen Bee” (or as I call it, “Mean Girls”) syndrome. No, it’s not everyone. But as a woman over 50, o can tell you it’s as real on elementary school playgrounds as it is the boardroom today. LETS PLEDGE TO HELP EACH OTHER.
Amen!
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