Friday, April 24, 2009

It's So Hard

It's so hard when your buddy is getting old, frail, and unhappy. Look at that face. Who could resist those soft eyes and that gentle gaze. She's the best dog. Fudge had her worse day yet. She couldn't get up this morning. When she finally got on her feet, she simply looked at me and didn't move. I coaxed her outside and helped her back in. She snuck upstairs to be with me in the studio. She stayed all day and didn't move. She didn't move when I left or when I came back. She shouldn't have tackled those stairs, but she did. I kept thinking, hoping she'd snap out of it. At dinner I coaxed her down. She took it one section at a time and then rested. We made it outside, and she sat in the grass next to me, leaning on me for support. We sat for a long time and then I coaxed her into the house. She threw up and stood again with her tail between her legs and looked at me with sad eyes.

She's sleeping now. We're heading for the vet in the morning. She hates to go to the vet. I don't want morning to come. I don't want to go either. It's so hard.

127 comments:

Lindsey said...

Oh Jacquie, I am so sorry. I have a black lab that is in similar shape...I will pray for a peaceful time for Fudge...She looks like such a sweetheart and I know has been a great source of comfort for you. Blessings.

Melanie O said...

Jacquie, I'm so sorry. I know how hard it is, I went through it with 2 cats. You are their guardians and you have to do what is best for them. It is so, so hard...

Lisa said...

I'm so sorry about Fudge, please know I will be thinking of you and Fudge...they are such a part of the family!

Marie' said...

That must be hard. I always enjoyed it when I saw pictures of Fudge in your posts. What a sweet companion.

Vickie E said...

that brought tears to my eyes....

Andrea said...

I'm so sad to hear about Fudge. I'm not even sure what to say - but our thoughts are with you.

It's so hard to see a loyal friend in that stage of their life.

My hubby and I cried when we read the post about the long walk at Thanksgiving and we are in tears now, too.

Hugs to you and yours...

Andrea

Jane's Fabrics and Quilts said...

Oh please know I am thinking about you and the family, I know how hard this is for all of you.

Jodie said...

Oh jacquie, I'll be thinking of you and fudge

Cardygirl said...

Our dog too is failing... I feel for you & your beloved Fudge...thinking of you!

Madge said...

so so sorry. it is so hard to see them go.

Sherri said...

I'm so sorry. It's so beautifully written. Our dog is a black lab also...I don't want him to get old.

connie said...

I am so sorry. There is nothing easy about this. I will keep you and Fudge in my thoughts. She looks like such a wonderful buddy.

Take Care!

Anita said...

She looks like the sweetest girl. Good luck with your appointment.

Buzz's Food Lady said...

All my best to you at this difficult time. Fudge loves you and trusts you to help her have a peaceful end, just tell her what is going to happen and hold her.

Rossie

1stdaughter said...

You and Fudge will be in my prayers. I hope everything is peaceful and you are both able to enjoy your few moments left together.

jedigirlz said...

I am already crying for you. I've had days like you'll have tomorrow. They are hard....I am so sorry.

GARI said...

I am so very sorry. I know the pain you are in and no words can make it better. But it is easy to tell that she loves you and knows you will do whatever is best for her. My thoughts will be with you tomorrow morning.

Dayna said...

My heart shares your pain having had to help two over the bridge this year. They are with us for only a short time. Will think of you in the morning.

Carrie ~ said...

Oh, I am glad you shared about fudge, getting old is hard. I am praying for the two of you tomorrow. I never cease being so impressed over their devotion, going upstairs just to be with you. I am sorry for the sadness, glad you have her today.

Karen said...

Jacquie, I'm so sorry to hear about your dear Fudge. I know that it's hard, but Fudge trusts you to do what's best. You will have wonderful memories of all the great times shared. Hang on to those. You are all in my prayers.

Alissa said...

Oh Jacquie I'm so so sorry. Fudge is a lucky lucky dog to have such a caring owner and her devotion is clear. I will be thinking of you tomorrow.

sewtakeahike said...

I'm hugging you in my heart Jacquie.

Vicki said...

I'm so sorry, Jacquie.

Lurline said...

With tears running down my cheeks, thoughts and prayers are with you -God bless you with the courage, my Darling!
Hugs - Lurline♥

Anonymous said...

Tears are running down my face. Been there, done that more than once. Just know you are giving fudge the best gift you can.

Lee-Anne Gilbert said...

Jacquie... I can't bear to read anyone's comments... I am holding back tears as it is... I truely understand your pain... my Miss Molly is almost 14 and we are dealing with her heart problems and the inevitable down the track...I know how hard it is and nothing anyone says or does will ever make it any better... Thinking of you and yours... Lx

Gail :) said...

Wow. What a moving post. My prayers are with you and Fudge tonight and in the morning. Big hugs to Fudge and your family.

Linda said...

Jacquie I too am writing between the tears, how heavy this makes my heart. I know how difficult this must be for you, prayers for you all tomorrow.

Dorrie said...

My heart is with you. It's amazing how our pets wiggle their way into our hearts and become family. Their hearts are pure and their love unwavering. No wonder it's so hard to say goodbye. I'll think of you tomorrow, let all of these heartfelt wishes wrap you in a huge hug.

Bridget said...

I am sorry to hear about your old doggie.

I heard a veterinarian on NPR whose book might be of some comfort to you. The book is called Speaking For Spot.
the author is Dr. Nancy Kay.

MightyMom said...

oh babe.

here's a hug. or two...and a tissue.

here, take the whole box.

trashalou said...

We are walking that same road with my old man dog. Sometimes loving is hard.

Lisa said...

Oh, Jacquie, I am so sad for you. I will be thinking of you tomorrow.

Amber said...

Oh Jacquie - I'm so sorry and will be praying for you all tomorrow!

julia said...

Oh, Jackie...so sad...I'm sitting here, nearly crying & I know what a hard time you now have.
Fudge is a beautiful dog ~ I hug her from afar...and you, too...
I'm so sorry,
Julia

nicolette said...

Dear Jacquie, I feel so sorry. Your post brings tears to my eyes.

Sending lots of love and hugs. Will be thinking of you all today.

A Spoonful Of Sugar said...

Sending lots of thoughts and hugs your way!

Kritta22 said...

Oh I'm so sorry!

People can talk about their kids, parents and others in pain and I go into my nurse brain, trying to help them.

When people talk about their puppies, I bawl my eyes out.

You and your family will be in my prayers tonight.

Fudge I love you and don't even know you.

Frogdancer said...

Yeah, it's time. You're doing the right thing.

Ruth's Place said...

Sending you a hug. I know it's hard, but it's the right thing. Thinking of you today and tomorrow.

Kelly Ann said...

hugs to you

Sue B said...

as someone who has been through it more times than I'd care to remember I wish you strength and peace at this difficult time.

Linda B said...

You stirred memories of my dear Duncan, and the decision we had to make. I'm so sorry.

Quiltin' Jenny said...

I'm so sorry. We have been there and it is an overwhelming loss. Very few people in your life are ALWAYS around - even the DH goes to work and the kids go to school.

I wish you peace and strength, and happy memories to fill the empty places.

Hugs...Jen

Purple and Paisley said...

poor sweetie...she is in my thoughts...my rusty is getting older, too, and he is diabetic...it will be so, so hard...

Beth said...

I'm so sorry, Jacquie. My girls face is gray like Fudge's and it makes me so sad to imagine she won't always be with us.

Just think of the joy she has brought your family and try to smile through the tears!

Martys Fiber Musings said...

Oh, Jacquie, it's Saturday morning and my tears are flowing for your dear Fudge. I am hopeful that all the thoughts and prayers of your friends will give you the strength to make the right decision so your baby will have no more pain. Let us all cherish the time we have with those we love.

Anita in Florida said...

I am so sorry about your dear little Fudge. I know the pain. My heart goes out to you...and to Fudge.

Two Dogs and a Quilt said...

It is so hard. We have been there with our beloved old dog. Thinking of you and Fudge.

Anne said...

There isn't much to say that makes things better, but to tell you that there are lots of us who are empathizing with you today.

We will say prayers for you and Fudge.

QuiltedSimple said...

Oh Jacquie my heart breaks for you. I'll be thinking of you and fudge. It's so rough when a pet is going.....
Kris

LauraJ said...

Big hugs to you and your family.

Lazy Gal Tonya said...

I am so so sorry.

Jackie said...

Oh Jacquie, I am so sorry for you and your family! She is such a beautiful dog and a wonderful friend to you. My thoughts are with you!!

Cathy said...

I'm so sorry. Saying goodbye to our Dog was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I am sending you strength to get through the day.

Stephanie said...

Oh my heart goes out to you and her. She's a good dog and you've given her a great life, whatever the outcome of the vet's visit.

Lisa said...

I'm so sorry. I hope the morning brings you both peace.

Stephanie said...

I completely understand having just gone through sadness with my sweet dear old kitty. Lots of warm thoughts heading your way.

Stephanie D. said...

Oh, Jacquie, I am so sorry. The tears are just flowing down my cheeks right now, because I know what you're going through. It's the right thing to do, but that doesn't make it any easier. Hugs to you and Fudge.

Penny said...

She's a lovely girl and looks like your heart dog. I also recall some of your earlier posts that mentioned her. She is special and you can know that even from this side of the laptop. I know it is hard when they get to this point. You have given her a wonderful life and much comfort and love. How sweet that she went up those stairs. What a darling she is.

Asiyah said...

I'm sorry to hear about Fudge. It sounds like you've given her lots of love. I sure hope dogs go to heaven. I'd love to see my own little Chelsea there.

Amy said...

There really aren't any words I can share that will make it better. You might remember that I went through something similar in November. I am comforted now looking back that I did what I thought was best for Jack - even if it might not have been what was best for me. Also, I had a chance to say goodbye (as did the whole family) and I found it helpful to be with him when he drifted off - it was peaceful and seeing that he wasn't in pain really helped me with closure. Good luck this morning. I know you'll make the right choice for your family and I'll be thinking of you.

beewitchinstitchin said...

Your situation reminds me of my beloved lab when she grew older. We would help her down the outside stairs, even to the point of carrying her up and down. She would get settled in before we went to work and would be in the same place when we returned home later in the day. It was so difficult to see her struggling but difficult for us to consider the alternative. I agree with Amy's comment, we had a chance to say goodbye as a family and it was quiet and peaceful. Good luck, I'll be thinking about you today...Kathy

Michaela said...

Jacquie, I will be thinking of you. It is very hard, I went through that twice, in the past 5 years. The hardest was not knowing how to help.

Taylor said...

I am so sorry, Jacquie. I will be thinking of you and your family.

*Sending virtual hugs your way...*

Owens Family Adventures said...

I am so sorry my friend. I thought about what to write here for a long time. I have a dog, Abbey, that I love with all my heart and soul. She had me at our first hello. I thought about what I will do when she finally looks at me with her big brown eyes, telling me it's time. There are so many wonderful ways these animals show us they love us. Being excited when we come home like we've been gone weeks. Laying a soft head on our leg when we are sad. Staying by our side when we don't feel well. Keeping us safe at night. I think that when their time with us is at an end, the most wonderful way we can thank them for a lifetime of service and devotion is to rub their soft silky heads all the while telling them "Good dog" while the vet helps them over the Rainbow Bridge.
You will be in my thoughts tomorrow.
Dawn

Lisa said...

Oh, I'm so sad and sorry for you and your family. They are such dear little companions. I know she feels loved.

Needled Mom said...

I am so sorry for you. These are such hard decisions when they get old and have been such dear companions all these years.

Hilary said...

Oh, Fudgey. When our chocolate lab was fading, I was in college. For some reason my parents were just lazy about taking care of her, so when I'd come home to visit every few months, I'd give her a bath. One of those times, she just couldn't make it up the stairs anymore, so I had to take her outside for a hose bath (not fun). She got nervous and pooed and sat in it, and I just felt so bad, and I'm sure she did too. She couldn't help it. It's just so heartbreaking when they want to take care of you and they get so old they can't take care of the simple things for themselves.

There's no doubt Fudge loves you soooo much...she tackled the stairs just to be with you. So sweet.

Tunamarie said...

Here's to Fudge and a doggie life well lived and a companion well loved!!!
Take care all!

Nanci said...

Jacquie,

You are such an inspiration to all us here and it hurts so much to see you in pain. I have a golden retriever that I see aging before my eyes and can't imagine having to face what you are facing today. You all will be my prayers today. I have loved seeing the photos and stories you've posted of Fudge and they have brought smiles to all of us over time.

MichelleB said...

My goodness. Big hugs for such a heartbreaking thing.

Cheryl said...

So sorry to hear about your friend. We lost a cat last year and have a geriatric dog and another cat. I keep waiting for them to go. It sounds like she knows she's in good hands with you.

Donna said...

We just went through this 2 weeks ago with my best friend Bow, a chocolate lab. It's so hard. I still havent written about it and am not sure I can. Nothing but love and hugs for you and your family.

Belva said...

Jacquie,
My heart goes out to you and Fudge. I hope today is a better day. Sending you lots of hugs... Belva

Danielle said...

My heart aches for you and Fudge. I am sending my love and prayers to you all.

jackie said...

So sorry Jacquie! We went through the same thing with our beloved golden retriever about a year ago. We knew it wasn't good when he stayed in the same spot in the front yard all day long. Sending hugs your way.

I Love Baby Quilts! said...

I'm sorry to hear that, my thoughts are with you.

ivyarts said...

Oh Jacquie, I'm so sorry. It's so hard to lose a member of the family. Peace be with you all.

Anina said...

My thoughts are with you Jacquie. It's tough when we have to start making hard decisions for our pets. But they depend on us to make the right ones and not let them suffer. Good luck with all of this.

Millie said...

I am so so sorry. I had to cry when I read your posting. We have a black Lab and he is four. I am not looking forward to that day when he is old. Thinking of you and lots of hugs!

Mandy said...

Thinking of you. Its so hard when our pets get to such a vulnerable stage.

Betty Crocker Ass said...

sending good thoughts your way.

Anonymous said...

You are doing the very best you can. You and Fudge are in my prayers.

-Catherine

Contented Caroline said...

My thoughts are with you Jacquie. I have a dog who is only 18 months but I love him so much I thnk how wonderful life has been with him, I couldn't imagine not having him. Do what is right for him, he has lived a wonderful life with caring, trusting parents and he deserves to suffer no pain or discomfort, but to be let go when the time is right.

Blessings upon your family.

Oiyi said...

I am so sorry. I have 2 dogs of my own and couldn't imagine them going through so much pain.

Ravenhill said...

How heartbreaking. My parents had a beautiful dog who greatly resembled yours. The loss of her was so sad for our entire family. Big hugs to you from Emily xxoo

Shogun said...

I am so sorry.

Nancy said...

God gave mankind dominion over the animals -- this is the hardest piece of that. You're doing the right thing. I know -- I've been there, too.

Tif said...

(((HUGS))), jacquie...i am thinking of you!

Liz said...

Oh Jacquie - it is so hard to look at a beloved pet and think those thoughts - even though you know it has to be done. My thoughts are with you tonight.

RAE said...

I'm sorry Jacquie. I'll be thinking about you and her sweet face. Hang in there.

Selina said...

I'm so sorry. Thinking of you and your family.

Regi said...

*hug*

I am so very sorry! You and Fudge are in my thoughts and prayers.

Amy @ Park City Girl said...

Hugs and prayers for you my friend --

lindsey said...

Isn't it so unfair that we can't spend all our lives with our faithful dogs that are our family? Wishing you the best.

KnitOneQuiltTooKristin said...

I'm so sorry. This is the saddest thing to have to do. Hugs to you, your whole family and especially Fudge.

Tricia said...

Just two weeks ago we had to put our beloved dog of 9 years to sleep. It was painful and horrible but I told my daughter that our dog relies on us to make these kind of tough decisions for her. She had become paralyzed in her back legs and was incontinent and just plain miserable. We helped her for several weeks but finally we knew there was no hope of her getting better. We made sure that her last day was a good one-luckily the sun was shining and we carried her outside and put her on a fluffy comforter with a juicy bone and she basked in the warmth. A sedative helped with any fear she had of going to the vet.
I hope your appointment tomorrow goes as well as possible.
Tricia

Debbie said...

Jacquie, I know how sad you must be and how difficult it is to take that trip to the vet. I had to make the same trip with my dear kitty last fall and it was a so tough. I hope you are feeling at peace with your trip today. My prayers are with you. Debbie

Kellie said...

(((((hugs))))), you are a wonderful dog mama and Fudge knows it. Your post brought me to tears and I will hold you and your darling Fudge in my thoughts.

Jodie said...

I will keep you and Fudge in my thoughts. I have a faithful friend like that. We were away last night and she stayed with my mum and dad, but we had car trouble and it was too late to pick her up tonight. I will be over there first thing in the morning, the house is just not the same without her. How lovely for Fudge to have you who cares so much.

Deb said...

I'm so sorry, how hard it must be. Now I must go hug my "puppy".

Levin (and Emily) said...

There's not much I can say to make you feel any better - pets can bring so much joy and yet losing them causes so much pain.
Thinking of you lots
l
x

angela said...

I know where you're at. We had a wonderful dog that my husband carried in and out and up and down for 2 months before we could let go.

Laurie said...

This is such a sad post. I will say a prayer for both of you.
laurie

metrosupialdesigns said...

I'm so sorry to hear about you and Fudge. I'm almost there too.

Here's my old girl:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/metrosupialdesigns/3473830158/

She's shabby and has to be carried up the stairs, but she's still plugging along. And when you look at her she has the same puppy look.

Sara said...

There's nothing I can say that others have not already said / written. I've been through that w/ 2 dogs and know that Odin will be look to me when the time comes. Give Fudge a big hug from me and Odin. You're in our prayers....whatever happens know that Fudge believes in you and knows that you have her best interests at heart.

Darcie said...

Poor sweetheart. Peaceful thoughts and prayers for you all....

Brita said...

Our thoughts are with you and sweet Fudge.

KateKwiltz said...

Poor, poor Fudge. And poor you. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

Indigo Blue said...

My family have always had cats and dogs and they become a part of the family. Their ageing and illnesses affect everyone in the family and I do understand how you feel at this time. My heart goes out to you and your family.
xx

Priscilla said...

What a tough time for all of you. Poor sweet Fudge.

mamaspark said...

I am SO sorry to hear about Fudge. Tomorrow will come too soon for you, I remember as I had to take my best friend of 18 years to the vet too. My cat Rimshot. I have 5 cats now and I still miss her every day (it's been 8 years ago now. I held her as they gave her the injection because I wanted the last thing she saw (and smelled) to be me. You and Fudge will be in my prayers tonight. She will be waiting on the Rainbow bridge for you!

Catherine said...

I'm so sorry! I know how hard this is. Gentle hugs to you.

Libby said...

I've thought about you all weekend! I'm sorry for this, I love hearing stories about Fudge! Libby

Victoria said...

Jacquie, I am just getting around to catching up on my blog reading... I am so sorry about your sweet Fudge, and hope that it is nothing serious. You know that I know how heartbreaking this process is... you are both in my thoughts and prayers. xo Victoria

Philigry said...

i am so, so sorry about your beautiful dog. my thoughts are with you. i know it is so hard. i think you are doing the right thing, as hard as it is. hang in there.

Rebekah said...

She looks like such a sweet dog. Hang in there. I hope that you all get the rest and help that you need.

iknitipurl said...

:(

One of the hardest things to do in life is to let go and say good bye to our loved ones. Just love her as much as possible til the end.

Anonymous said...

I'm sad too. My babydog, Jack went to doggie Heaven last year. I miss him so much. But I know God doesn't create life without also creating a Heaven just for them. This I believe. You and Fudge are in my thoughts. Hugs, Amie

Rose said...

I know you closed the comments on the next post, but I just wanted you to know I feel for you. I had to put our cat of 10years down a couple weeks ago (I had him cremated and he is back at home with us now) and pets truly are a member of your family and when they pass there is a void that no other person or pet can fill. They have their own personality and individuality. I took my cat for granted quite often and only after he was gone did I realize how much he was around, and I miss him terribly. I hope you find comfort knowing his last days were spent with the family and people he loved the most. You do not need to reply to this comment, but my thoughts and prayers are with you.

marie said...

From France, thoughts to you and to your Fudgie. I did not know your blog and Saturday I discovered this beautiful and so full of Love picture of Fudgie and I read your words and I had tears. And this morning Fudgie is in the Rainbow Bridge with my so beloved Heidi BUT FOREVER their love for us are in our hearts.
A lot of courage
marie

Miss Lady Bug said...

I hope you feel better soon and overcome these sad days with your usual strength and busy mood. Best wishes for you and your family.

GinSpaghetti said...

My prayers are with you. I know you and Fudge had a wonderful friendship and I know you will see her again. May the memories and fullness of your life be always with you because of her. Love and hugs from NC.

mau said...

Just my prayers are with your family...I know how it feels.

RosaMarĂ­a said...

I'm so sorry. that is very sad. one of our dogs is a chocolate lab too... and I don't want him to get old.

stephanie hansen said...

I was just told my dog Kelly has cancer. It is my turn to watch a friend become frail like Fudge. My whole heart goes out to you, hon.